Diary Of An Avenger
by lunarxshinobi
Summary: Sasuke's Diary, enough said.
1. Chapter 1

**Diary of a Avenger**

Dear Dairy,

My name is Sasuke Uchiha. and I am the hottest, smexiest, most awesome guy ever. I am also determined to kill my brother, Itachi. DIE YOU STUPID WEASEL!!! I got this diary from my stupid teacher, Orochimarou. Geeze, that guy is so gay. I'm thinking of locking my door, windows, and closet at night. Or mabey, I'll go Gaara and not sleep at all. After all, you never know when a creepy snake-like jutsu-obsessed pedofile will pop out at you. In fact, I'm gonna put locks on my doors, windows and closets right now. and I'll do it smexily. of course.

Sincerely,

SASUKE UCHIHA.

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Dear Diary,

I was just thinking, who names their kid Sasuke? I mean, that fact that it means monkey totally sucks, but sasUKE. I mean, did my mom WANT me to be gay or something? Mabey she thought no one would notice the uke at the end of my name. So, my mom must have been retarded. I mean, I don't know how many times Orochimarou has grinned at me and said sasUKE. It's sooooooooooo creepy. and Then he asked me today if I had the agility of a monkey. I was out of the training room so fast there was still an image of me for about 45 seconds. and Kabuto is still glaring at me. I don't know why he has a problem with me. He can SO have Orochimarou. I gotta go hide somewhere. Orochimarou is staring at me through my window.

Sincerely,

SASUKE UCHIHA

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Dear Diary,

ITACHI MUST DIE. I learned a new jutsu. The art of beating my sensei with a stick because he got way to close with that tounge no jutsu. Ughhhhhhhh. Why did I come to this freak again? Oh yeah. Itachi must die. why is Itachi's name Weasel? I mean, it fits him, but why Weasel? It's.. comical. I mean, one day before Itachi became uber-bastard and killed our family, I just started cracking up one day at breakfast. When mom asked why, I stuttered, "w-w-w-weasel!" and continued laughing. Mom and dad started laughing with me. One week later Itachi killed the clan. I mean, how could he kill the clan after such a happy occasion? Not cause we hurt his feelings, oh, that couldn't ever be possible. nope. I AM SMEXY.

Sincerely,

Sasuke Uchiha

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_**REVIEW!!!!!!!**_


	2. Chapter 2

**Diary of an Avenger**

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Dear Diary,

I love raspberry green tea. It's all the healthiness of green tea, and all the yummyness of raspberry tea. It's the perfect smexy tea for the perfectly smexy me! What, you didn't think I'd say that I'm smexy? I always do, because I am the world's smexiest ninja _**EVAH**_. Everyone knows that. Except creepy fangirls. Not mine of course. My fangirls know how smexy I am. It's other people's fangirls. Did you know that Rock Lee had fangirls? **Rock. Lee.** That weirdo with the bowl cut and the freaky eyebrows! I mean, his eyebrows resemble small fuzzy black kittens! It's soooooooooo creepy! I am so much smexier then Rock Lee. I don't think his fangirls know that though... Omg, I must spread the news of my smexiness!!!!!!!! Wait, I'll just let my fangirls do that. Creepy fangirls.

Sincerely,

Sasuke Uchiha.

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Dear Diary,

I read the newspaper this morning. Did you know that the newspaper actually contains **news** I know, I was shocked too! But it does have news! There was actually a section called 'FanMania' that was completely written by fan-people, mainly fangirls. It said that half of the Lee fangirls had converted to Sasuke fangirls after seeing a picture of me in my training outfit. Which, might I say, looks so smexy on me. Which was, of course, expected, because I'm like, so smexy. However what surprised me, and slightly pissed me off, was that a quarter of his fangirls became Naruto fangirls because they saw him training without a shirt. and, to make things worse, one third of my fangirls moved to be Naruto fangirls as well! that sucks! I am sooooooooooooo much smexier than that dobe!!!!! but I still have more fangirls then anyone else. SO HA. I'm going to go walk around being smexy.

Sincerely,

Sasuke Uchiha

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Dear Diary,

I hate the color purple. Why do I have to have this stupid purple butt tie? It's so gay. I mean, who wears these things? They're sooo not smexy. Oh, and my fangirls moved back because they saw me without a shirt in all my emo smexiness. so HA NARUTO, HA. I beat you in the fangirl contest! Wait, there was a contest? I didn't know that! What's first prize? It has to be something smexy!!!!! Because I am the smexiest person ever. and I couldn't get anything not smexy. It would just ruin my smexy reputation. Hmmm. I'm thirsty. I just bought some yummylicious raspberry green tea. I think I'll drink some... because it's just as smexy as I am!!!! I AM SMEXY. But everyone already knows that... well, at least, they should know that. Because if someone doesn't know that I'm smexy, then they live under a rock. Or worse, they live under the ocean. Isn't that a song or something? Like, Under the sea, I think... Now I wanna watch that stupid movie. I like to point out that I'm SO smexier then anyone else. For some reason, Orochimarou likes to sit with me and agree. Creepy baka.

Sincerely,

Sasuke Uchiha

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_**REVIEW!!!!!!!**_


	3. Chapter 3

**Diary of an Avenger**

Dear Diary,

DIE SNAKE FREAK DIE. Why did I join Orochimarou? WHO SAID THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA. I don't know. But it was my stupid. So, I really can't complain. But that freak. I've now hidden in a underground metal room. That I built. Without Orochimarou knowing. Kabuto helped, but I think that was just because he wanted to have Orochimarou all to himself. So now I'm hiding in here. It's pretty comfortable. I put everything I need in here. Including an Orochimarou senser… I SHALL BE SAFE! MHUA HA HA HA.

Sincerely,

Sasuke.

Dear Diary,

THE SNAKE SENSER WENT OFF! OH NO! WHAT SHALL I DO?! Ooh, I know! I'll just open up my secret escape hatch, and leave this fake Sasuke doll in my place! And then while Orochimarou is molesting the doll, I'll be well on my way to.. I don't know.. the akatsuki! I'll go to the akatsuki! And join Itachi! I'll kill him after Orochimarou stops trying his best to molest me. Then I'll kill Orochimarou. After that, I'll kill Itachi. Then I'll go to Konoha, get therapy, and go back to a normal life… But that's if Orochimarou is starting to get into this room… I hope he doesn't find the secret switch… Okay, onto a more interesting subject. Did you hear that blue is the new yellow, yellow is the new green, green is the new orange, orange is the new red, red is the new pink, pink is the new purple, purple is the new white, which is the new brown, brown is the new black and black is the new blue? That means I need to start wearing brown with a white ass-bow? Actually, this outfit always sucked. Changing colors would so not help.

Sincerely,

Missing a world in which fashion actually existed,

Uchiha Sasuke.



Dear Diary,

Orochimarou hasn't found a way into my hidden room yet. Which is great, cause I don't want to join the Akatsuki and Itachi. I would rather kill myself.. Wait… wouldn't killing myself be helping Itachi?... It would….THEN I MUST LIIIVVEE. Live to kill and annoy Itachi. ALL HAIL ANNOYING AND KILLING ITACHI. MHUA HA HA HA HA HA.. what was that creaking sound. That wasn't the door, was it? PLEASE TELL ME THAT WASN'T THE DOOR. Oh.. it's just Kabuto… Why is he hiding in here too?

….. Okay, apparently, there's some 'friend' of Orochimarou's that's here that likes to molest Kabuto… which is funny, but know the nerd finally understands my pain. So now we're both hiding in our molestor-proof shelter… Wondering when we can escape. When, WHEN!

Sincerely

And very Freaked out,

Uchiha Sasuke.


End file.
